Life Unfurling

I am sitting in what we call our “reading room”.  It is supposed to be a quiet, inspirational corner of our 1,200 sq. ft. home, but, alas, it is cluttered with old bills and gift bags and a ridiculous pile of stuffed animals that needs immediate weeding.  One of the bookshelves is littered with makeup and hair confixor and odd bits of jewelry as this room has also become a vanity of sorts ever since our medicine cabinet came crashing down in our single bathroom two months ago.  We are not proud nor are we rich.

I am drinking coffee and waiting for my son to wake up.  I am waiting apprehensively as his waking will inevitably end this post.

I am also thinking of the title of this blog—Life Unfurling—and am promising to you, as well as to myself, that I will not talk about spreading my wings or being ready to emerge from some lonely chrysalis.  At least I will not use those words.

Still, life unfurling.

I was recently befriended on, yes, Facebook, by an old college co-conspirator.  A fellow creative writing student and a woman that I always admired as one who stayed on a true path and was determined and honest and kind.  I googled her and discovered that she had followed out my dreams—had earned her MFA in fiction, was an editor of a widely known college publication, and is now a professor of writing.  I am a middle school teacher who is feeling less and less fulfilled by my career and is finding it hard to find the time and inspiration to write.

My dreams.  What has happened to them?

My son woke up.  More than several hours later…

I am sitting in what we call our “reading room”.  A room filled with bookshelves and journals and a hip set of curtains and a day bed.  The day bed is the sort that can be folded out into a chaise lounge type of deal which is ideal for reading a half-finished book or pondering life for awhile.

I am drinking a beer and am being continuously interrupted by a certain “Cape Man” who wants me to help him fight bad guys.  He wears a fraying cowboy hat that is least one size too large and an old sweatshirt for a cape.  He calls it his superhero costume and rarely leaves home without it.  He has an imagination like his mama.

I was recently befriended on, yes, Facebook, by an old high school partner-in-crime.  A fellow yearbookie and a gentleman who is to be admired for his perseverance and determination.  I didn’t have to google him to discover that he is following my dreams—is being published and is entering writing contests and has an editor for Christ’s sake.  I am a slug of a housekeeper and a mother of one who is often inspired by motherhood but is too exhausted to write.

Still, life unfurling.

I could go on and on about former and current friend success stories.  About Mikey at the Poet’s House and Josh with his own art gallery.  I could even complain about my brother-in-law who must read ten books to my one.

Still, life unfurling.

This is my first step.  This blog.  A project that I started under the name Book n’ Boob (after my experience as a breastfeeding mama and an avid reader) and that has now transformed itself into a symbol of me spreading my writer’s wings and escaping from the lonely chrysalis of doubt and deprivation.  (Yes, I lied to you and will probably now lock myself in the bathroom and scream.)

Seriously, this blog is about the nature of constant change that we undergo.  It is about my motherhood and my bipolar disorder and my experience as a somewhat disappointed writer and maybe about bourbon and books and definitely about life in general.

I am thrilled to be blogging again!  Step one… accomplished!

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5 Comments

  1. Kerry Corlis said,

    June 4, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    So glad you are blogging again – you go girl!!

    Kerry

  2. melisa said,

    June 5, 2011 at 12:45 am

    I am so, so happy to be your blogging follower again. Can’t express. And I’m now, of course, curious as to the identity of the college friend. Off to snoop. 🙂

  3. Mom said,

    June 5, 2011 at 1:38 am

    Throughout this first of your many writings here, I kept wondering what ‘rich’ means to you. You mentioned it in the beginning and seem somewhat envious of the accomplishments of others. However, ‘rich’ can mean many things and you are rich in many ways. Clearly, your writng talent has not suffered any loss for the paths you have taken since high school. Keep writing and finding the time to squeeze it out. You have a clear talent in many, many areas. Do not be discouraged with your progress!!

  4. Will said,

    June 5, 2011 at 11:44 am

    She is not living your dreams. You’re living your dreams. We get stuck sometimes, convinced that different decisions would have yielded different — better — results. But I don’t think so. If no two lives are alike, then no two dreams ate alike. You are the only one living your dreams. The thing about dreams, there is no time limit.

  5. Kenna said,

    June 6, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Great to see you writing again Em!


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