Hello again, Dear, Dear World!
Let me start by saying: I have not been lost and then found. Lucille (the muse) has not forsaken me. It is not my career (well, it is a little) that has forced my silence.
This lapse in voice (at least this lapse in my blogging voice) is attributed to the idea that I am going through some type of metamorphosis, am shedding my artistic skin, am examining myself and my motives and my desires and am putting certain fears to rest.
That takes a lot of work, moving from one hermit shell to the next.
(And, by hermit shell, I am not saying that I am bashful or secretive. But I have, as I imagine all of us do, my social-face, and my personas, and the fears that keep me somewhat shackled. So, I am proud to say that I am moving into a roomier socio-psychological apartment.)
(Am I talking bull shit here, or do I make sense?)
(How do you like the excessive use of parenthesis?)
I have been afraid to write here. In this public domain. Afraid, not so much of what you might think, but of what I might think about what I am thinking. I have spoken of audience and how it is both motivating and intimidating. I have begged for approval, have been asked to and have tried to forget my audience, and have wallowed in a bit of imagined-audience (meaning the people that I imagine to be my audience)-provoked despair.
Basically, I have lacked self-confidence.