The Sea of People Who Encircle Me

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it’s only by this meeting that a new world is born.” ~ Anais Nin

 
Lately, I have been nearly swept away by the passionate, compassionate, and comforting nature of my friendships and by the amount of love that surrounds me daily. I am, I admit, one hell of a lucky woman to be encircled by a sea of people who keep me afloat, buoying my potential, and pulling me from the powerful undertow of my own seeming self-destruction. I have been fraught with confusion lately, forks in the road looming before me, not sure which path to take. In my confusion I have, blathered and divulged, processed and pondered, analyzed and questioned. I have vomited up masses of past trauma and current dilemmas. I have even made a hysterical phone call in the middle of the night. Despite the amount of emotional weight that I have had to lean on these kindred and saintly souls, they still stand firm both in their own beautiful strength and in their insistence that they are my biggest fans. I have so, so much for which to be grateful!

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Bukowski and Zen: a Calling

“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” – Charles Bukowski

On the eve of my 21st birthday, I was sitting alone on an apartment stoop trying to work through the mind-bending task of completing a poetry portfolio that was probably due the next day.  A dearest of dear friend, the kind that would show up with groceries when you ran out of fundage, appeared on the stoop in his traditional black garb and attempted to coax me (as it was almost midnight) to hit the bars for my first legal drink.  When I refused him to work on my portfolio, he told me to bring the damn thing along because we were “going to kick it Bukowski style.”

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